The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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