Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
