I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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