Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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