He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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