it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
