Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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