i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
