you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
