Can Purell be used as lube?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
only if we run a train.
done.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
