We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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