Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
