frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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