my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
