and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
