Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You can't special order awesome
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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