seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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