Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
