I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
