it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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