Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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