Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
God, I missed his penis.
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