You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
