who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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