Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha