Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.