my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children