Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My dick has a subreddit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool