Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it glows. i had to have it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
