There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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