She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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