Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
