Sponge bath it is.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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