Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
