I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they need to just BURY HIM!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
