So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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