I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
