There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
