I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Randomize
