I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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