Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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