i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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