Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
