What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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