too bad you live with your parents still
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize