your room smells of hookers.
And success
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
