we should wear snuggies to the strip club
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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