This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
