I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
