so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
