1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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