so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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