Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
