Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
