he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
