u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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