I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
