my shit smells like andre
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize