We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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