I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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