I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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