Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
