update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
