New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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