Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Shame is for Republicans.
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