i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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